The Adams Family
WYCOMBE'S NUMBER ONE FANZINE RETURNS ON THE NET...
Put a monkey on these..
AKA - TAF betting guide December 2000
As Brucie would say, ‘Didn’t they do well’? But obviously not in response to last month’s TAF effort of trying to predict scores so that you lot can win big cash at the bookies.
But hey, you’ve got to be in this for the long game, and the winning starts here. Wycombe scores always first.

Colchester United (A) 1-1
Bah! In form after their recent humiliation of the so-called Royals of Berkshire, the U’s match Wycombe all the way. Odds on the match being completed without a distant relative of John Merrick invading the pitch, jerking about like one of Pavlov’s Dogs in the penalty area while the game continues, remain above 100-1.

AFC Bournemouth: (H) 2-0
Everyone’s favourite seaside resort comes to Bucks to continue its disappointing season. Wycombe go two up in the first ten minutes, and the rest of the game is spent discussing whether to book tickets for Joe Pasquale’s end of the pier ‘funtime’ show when going to the away game in April 2001.

Wigan Athletic (A) 0-1
The team that win 1-0 at home every time they play win 1-0 at home against Wycombe. A good day to either ‘Get in touch with Bahama Windows, for value and quality’, go to Lakeside for your crimbo shopping needs, or failing that, spend a day browsing at the extensive range of goods in the excellent branch of Next in the Chiltern Shopping Centre.

Swansea City (H) 5-0
‘Christmas Comes Early’ (used by kind permission of the Bucks Free Press) as the boyo’s don’t receive a welcome from our hillsides. Expect a bumper gate as your mum appears at the ground hoping to hear a male voice choir, because she knows that the Welsh are all excellent singers. Sadly, all she gets are a load of blokes with greasy hair called Barry, singing the filthy ditties that question the sexual practices of Judy Finnegan and Sian Lloyd, before de-camping in the Vere Suite and moaning about the price of ale.

Cambridge United (A) 0-0
A genuine Boxing Day affair at one of the worst grounds in division two. Stuffed and half-cut players shamble about the pitch, improvising what a night out with Peter O’Toole, Shane McGowan and Steve Thompson might be like. There is not one shot on target, the terrace smells of farted turkey, and it rains.

Northampton Town (A) 0-1
A narrow defeat against the Town, as the winning goal is hit from a penalty that the referee has given solely because the Town fans have shouted ‘PENALTY’ one hundred and seventy two times before the end of the first-half. Still the Millennium Dome Experience is no more, so it’s not a bad day really. 

Andy Dickinson

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